Unfairness lies in fairness itself

BirdieChao
Jun 25, 2017
6 min read

This Birdie's 14th personal article

In this current world, it is not rare to find yourself being jealous of someone else. Or even think that “God” is being unfair to you in every way possible.

I just met one guy from YES2017, he is a mini-VC I suppose which can invest up to 20mil into you. Oh wait, he is just 18 this year. However, he doesn’t own this 20mil. It’s just that he is in Hwa Chong International which made him be inside this circle of rich friends.

So, together with 4 other friends of him, which all have rich daddies. Came up with this idea to make use of some of their extra money into investing.

This definitely made me feel jealous of him. Of course, the feel of unfairness too. I’m trying so hard to learn how to be a better individual, build my network and work my way to my success.

But for him, he already had the network, the correct mindset about money and given an obvious path for him to learn about investing. Which he is very interested in.

And there are much more, it might be your classmate that seems to be playing every single time but always have a better result than you. It might also be one random Instagram influencer which just posts a picture of him/herself and earns up to hundreds of dollars.

It is happening all around us. But when we look at ourselves, we often ended up asking ourselves. “Why are they having such a good life when I’m over here rotting my life off?”

The following sentence may contain contents that made you unhappy. Read at your own risk.

All of those examples above are not examples of unfairness. But in fact, it proves that in this world, it is actually fair for everyone who is competing in it.

For the classmate that seems to be always playing. Maybe he spent just 1 or 2 hours every day to study about what the teacher has taught to make sure he understands the concept instead of memorising the content. His method of studying is right.

For the Instagram influencer, you don’t know how much time he/she put into building that Instagram account that finally builds up the fanbase that can finally attract advertisers to look for them. He/she is daring enough to keep posting pictures of him/herself since long ago.

Lastly, this one might be a bit tricky. It seems like the mini-VC already had his good life planned up the moment he was born. He is given a path for him to walk in and achieve life success.

But, the fairness part comes from his daddy. How much effort did his dad put in to achieve what he has achieved today? Am I right? If your dad put in as much effort as his dad does, who knows how your life will be like.

I have a secondary school classmate, if I didn’t remember wrongly, her dad is the vice-president of the Sentosa casino. But his dad started off being a restaurant waiter at the age younger than all of us.

So now, there’s 2 option for you to choose.

First, you can stop here and start cursing about your mom/dad why didn’t they put in as much effort as those above to make you have a better life now. For you to go out and have fun with your friends more, buy your favorite clothing and branded sneakers.

Then, 20/30 years later. Let your child be who you are now and curse you because you didn’t put in the efforts to make his/her life better. Blame you that you can’t afford to buy him/her the favorite clothing that they want and etc.

Or second, you can choose to become the kind of person that other will be jealous and feel unfair about. Continue reading only if you want to become the kind of person that draws hate from others. Because the following will be sharing how to be different.

If you continue here, I assume you chose the second option because this part is only for those who chose to be different. As the only way to be seen as unfair to the people around you is to be different from everybody else around you. So all the opportunities will look for you first.

First. Whenever you feel jealous of unfair because of something. Go deeper. Find the reason why you are feeling so. Most of the time is because you want to become or achieve something but others make it seem so easy to have it.

When this happens, you need to evaluate yourself. No matter big or small, you need to ask yourself if you are willing to give up some of your current commitment and time in order to achieve that.

If the thing that you want outweighs everything, for example, you find yourself being the best basketball player in your school is more important than anything else. Then you will follow the second step.

However, if you find that being the best player in your school is good to be. But not your top priority, it will be better that you put your efforts into your top priority.

Second, is to learn. The only way that can get you to somewhere better than where you are now is to learn. No matter which field you are in.

There are lots of resources out there on the internet for you to learn from. Basketball, fitness model, Instagram influencer, youtube, blogger, entrepreneurship. Every different kind of thing that you are looking for is available on the internet.

It will be even better if you can find yourself a mentor. Having a mentor will boost yourself in the journey of achieving whatever you want to achieve.

However, finding a mentor is not as easy as you think. Only by having the right mentor that “clicks” with you can help you boost yourself if your mentor doesn't believe in you or who you want to become. It will be better to be on yourself instead.

You can also start by trying to ask those people who had already achieved what you want to achieve on how they do it. Ask for some tips on how you can do it for yourself. Then after some time, if you find yourself to be working fine with the person you seek advice from. You can try to ask him/her to be your mentor.

Lastly, after you have your big dream in place. It will be the time for you to have some small and progressive goals for you to hit. These goals will be the bricks that build the path to your success.Don't put overly ambitious goals but make sure that the goal is putting you out of your comfort zone.

Take me for example. I didn’t start this blog out of a sudden. I was very jealous of the influencing power and the knowledge that one can gain just by writing a blog. And what’s more important is the personal branding that came along having a blog.

So I tell myself, for my own future. I need to start building my personal branding and writing will be one of the ways. Even though since young, I know I’m not good at writing.

Fortunate enough for me. I didn’t have to seek for known bloggers or writers who have the experience to teach me. Because at the same time, one of the blogger I followed release an online writing course specifically focused on writing blogs.

It cost $120++ with only 5 lessons, with each lesson roughly about 1 hour long. My friends may see this as a ridiculous move because not only I’m paying 120 to learn about writing which I was never good at. It does not focus on “Blogging” actually, it focuses on how to build your own public account on WeChat. But because my desire is there, so I signed up for the course.

Lastly, I didn’t start with a big picture of what I want to become. I only found my direction after I have been writing for awhile. But before I had my big picture, I know that I still need to have the small goals to hit in order to achieve what I want in the future.

If you look back to my first post, you can see me giving myself this challenge to update my blog every Sunday. Even though I know there’s nobody reading it at first. But I know the direction is right. That is what keep me writing till this date.

Basically, the 3 step is to first acknowledge, then find a role model to learn from and lastly, start doing shit. Finally, is to give yourself some time to see results.

If you find this post helpful or interesting. Please do help me by subscribing below. So I know who am I providing my contents for and who are those that gave me to moral support to continue. If you have any specific topic that you would want to know more about. Feel free to comment below as well, I'll go study about it and eventually write a post about it as well.

It's your choice

To live in your dreams or to be living your dreams

-BirdieChao