top of page

How about No?

  • BirdieChao
  • Jul 30, 2017
  • 5 min read

This is Birdie's 19th personal article

I just went on a cruise for the past 3 days and I just got back Singapore today. It’s a learning cruise organised by the Bosses Network Young Chapter, so the majority of the people on board are actually bosses. And what I realise from them that is different from us is they have the guts to say no. Just like my previous post which got posted together, their confidence level is very high on whatever they want to do and ca firmly reject people’s offer. But we students, how often do we say no to our friends even when they peer-pressured you?

- The Bird that really enjoyed the cruise

Saying no is a power that all of us have but somehow, we are getting more and more afraid or reluctant to say no to people. It’s strange that sometimes we just couldn’t reject people down for our own good.

Let’s share a personal experience of mine.

This semester, I have 5 projects going on and I have my out of school commitments as well. Previously, I went for InnovFest and Tech In Asia. Then now, I’m attending courses, going on learning cruise and creating a new club in SP. I hope this shows my packed my life is right now.

So previous term, which is the term I went for InnovFest and Tech in Asia. I’m the kind of people that don’t know how to say no. So, every time my friend offered me to go something together or join something. I know that deep down I don’t want to go but I always ended up saying yes.

For example, I joined SP basketball. Even though my heart isn’t there in the CCA because I don’t really want to play competitive basketball again. But because of all the peer pressured to stay and stuff. I agreed with them and continue staying. This alone sucked up 2 of my days each week because I have to reserve myself for them.

Another one is going for FOC for entrepreneur club. I already joined the club last year so I actually not interested in going for the FOC. However, my clique in school they want to try something new and they found out that there’s an FOC going on and they drag me along. I said no initially but in the end, I gave in to the peer pressure and followed them to the camp.

In the end, during the whole camp what I did was just leaving my group and join my friends because my intention to come the camp is already flawed. Also because of the promise, I can’t go for those things that I enjoy more or even spend time with my ex-girlfriend. (I know it’s weird to say that, but I really hope I did spend more time with her)

These are just some small fragments of my life recently that I didn’t manage to say no to. The consequences are pretty obvious, I lost control over my personal life and can’t achieve what I want.

I bet you don’t want to lost control of your own life right? We all want freedom, but what is freedom when you are always tied down with just agreeing with your friends all the time.

So this term, I rejected a lot of things that tried to get into my life. Some might not be bad, but I think it’s better for me to turn them down and make myself a bit happier.

For example, After I put my focus on the Memory Sports Club, I decided to quit all the high-commitment CCAs that I have. Like basketball and handball. Which took up 4 days of my week just on the training itself. It might be seen as an act of irresponsible to some. But for me, I’m trying to be responsible for myself. I share not waste their efforts on me and I don’t want myself to get distracted by them.

Other than that, I also turned down an offer by my course alumni which he is offering a mini internship project that I can take. The offer is really nice, it’s only one month and I can experience the real-world situations and face real customers. Most importantly, it is great for my portfolio.

But, I turned him down. I told him I don’t want to over promise anything to him because If I join, I hope to put my most effort inside. But currently, I’m occupied by other stuff so I can’t just join and let him down and be sorry to him. He didn’t feel upset for the rejection but instead, he respected my decision on being responsible for both myself and him as he will be the one introducing me to the start-up.

Saying No and rejecting people isn’t easy, it takes some courage to say it because deep down within us, we are all kind hearted. That’s why we will feel uncomfortable seeing someone suffer from anything. So naturally we all want to help, we all want to make others feel happy as well so we can share the joy.

But many times, we are now helping people to satisfy only others because we are only giving. Many times, we lost control of our own wheels when we stick out our helping hand. It’s not too late to realise that actually protecting you, your decision and goals are the most important thing that we should care about.

Now, don’t take me wrong here. I’m here to share why I started saying No and encouraging you to start giving a heck about yourself. But I do not mean that you say no to everything that comes into your life. You need to weigh the decision yourself sometimes on what is better to do.

For example, I’ve got peer-influenced to join OARS Academy where we nurture and groom youth for future leaders. I see the vision of OARS Academy and really love the family inside. Even though when I know it will be high commitment, but I definitely enjoy the commitments that I’ve put in. This is not an advertisement or something and the founder of OARS Academy don’t know that I’ll be writing this as well, it’s just that I’m wearing OARS Academy’s shirt now and it got me reflecting on it only.

There is an event every month where we invite people to share their experiences and every time without fail I manage to learn something there. So, if you are interested in knowing more about OARS Academy, drop me a WhatsApp message @96353327. If not, you can just subscribe to my mailing list of this blog, Birdie’s Journey, where I upload every week to share how we as students can develop ourselves to be more prepared to be successful in the future.

It's your choice

To live in your dreams or to be living your dreams

-BirdieChao


 
 
 

Comments


LET'S TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL!

#TAGS

© 2023 by Annabelle. Proudly created with Wix.com

bottom of page